LAUGHTER IS AN INSTANT VACATION

By Dan Miller
March 19, 2008

I don't recall who made that observation, but it's true.
Since I'm taking the week off from work, I'll simply pass along a list of 10 statements that have given me an "instant vacation" or two, and maybe it'll work for you.

1.) 'There are three kinds of people - those who can count, and those who can't."

2.) "You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
~ Dave Barry

3.) "Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night."
~ Charles M. Schulz

4.) "My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more."
~ Walter Matthau

5.) "If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep."
~ unknown

6.) "A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: "Duh.""
~ Conan O'Brien

7.) "I was such an ugly kid - when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up."
~ Rodney Dangerfield

8.) "Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician."
~ unknown

9.) "Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."
~ Jack Handey

10.) "Check your neck. You might be a redneck if.......
You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu....
You've ever financed a tattoo....
Directions to your house include "turn off the main road."
~ Jeff Foxworthy

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