ABOUT FRIENDS
By Dan Miller
January 11, 2008
I recently saw a study that points out how most of us don't have many really close friends anymore.
I hope it's not true.
I sometimes instruct the interns here in the newsroom to remember that if someone calls claiming to be a friend of mine -- definitely don't put them through to me, because I have no friends!
It's a joke.
I've been blessed with many friends.
And I was thinking about them the other night when I heard Neil Young singing his wonderful song "One Of These Days" on a cable show.
You may know the song.
In it, he sings about how one of these days he's gonna write a long letter to all his old friends, telling them how much he appreciates them.
It's easy to infer from listening to the song that he'll never actually get around to writing that letter.... but wishes he could.
That sparked in me the idea that maybe -- as a way to honor and acknowledge my own friends -- I could just list, in this essay, the name of everyone I consider a personal friend.
But I knew it would be too easy to leave out someone, then I'd worry myself sick over that.
And I also realized there are different categories and degrees of friends.
Which ones would I include?
Five categories came to mind, that probably apply to all of us.
1) ACTIVE FRIENDS
These are current day-to-day friends, usually the ones who are in close proximity on a regular basis at work, at school, in your neighborhood or some other place.
They may not be your oldest, dearest friends, but at any given instant they might become the most valued friend you have.
And that works both ways.
These are the friends who keep us sane, focused and entertained hour to hour.
2) SEMI-ACTIVE FRIENDS
These are friends who are not nearby. They often live in another city, and more than likely were close, active friends at some point in the past.
They're friends we try to keep in touch with through email or occasional phone calls, and their friendship is something we treasure.
3) FRIENDSHIPS WE'VE SORTA LET SLIDE
These are people who were, at some point, good friends, but due to lack of communication for long periods -- or perhaps simple neglect -- they've sort of slipped through the cracks.
Fortunately, these friendships can often be revived.
4) CASUAL FRIENDS
These are the people we encounter in our daily routines that we enjoy and talk with, but don't really know.
5) OLD FRIENDS
These are the crown jewels of friendship. These are the folks who've
known us since childhood, or school days, or since the dawn of our careers and families. These are often the wonderful people who knew us -- and we knew them -- before either of us became whatever we've become.
They knew us before marriages, divorces, career successes or failures, before our mistakes and triumphs.
Old friends share our memories of the same events.
These friendships necessarily have to begin when we are younger.
There's no reason in the world to try and impress old friends.... since the perceptions of each other were put in place long ago.
You can make new friends right up to the end of your life.... but you can't make an old friend.
OK, so I'm not going to list my friends.... but I will toast them.
Here's to my friends.... new and old!
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