COWS CARRY GRUDGES

By Dan Miller
November 16, 2007

I seldom read newspaper comic strips -- or the “funny papers” as we used to call them.
They usually don't seem all that funny to me.

But I sure do miss Gary Larson’s old cartoon strip, “The Far Side”.
His odd, often irreverent take on animal and human behavior resulted in some of the best laugh-out-loud cartoons ever printed.

Gary decided to retire from his regular syndicated cartoons about 12 years ago…. but his books and calendars remain incredibly popular… and his “best of” collections always end up on best seller lists.

A recurring theme is, basically, “what animals do when no humans are around”… and he always seems to have a fondness for cows.
In one of my favorites, the first panel shows cows in a pasture, standing on their hind legs, chatting like humans -- until they spot a car coming down the road.
One of them shouts, “Car!” and the cows then go into – what we assume to be -- their normal position, on four legs, lazily grazing the grass.... at least until the car passes by.

Lately, I‘m beginning to think maybe Gary Larson knows something about cows that the rest of us don’t.
For example, I saw an Associated Press story a few days ago from West Haven, Utah.

Eight cows were being hauled in a cattle trailer, but when the driver pulled into a McDonald’s to grab a quick bite, the cows busted out of the trailer and made a run for it.
It took authorities 2 hours to round them all up.
One of the sheriff's deputies on the scene said, "Maybe they were going to hop in the freezer, save the middleman."
I prefer to think the cows were just uneasy about pulling into a hamburger place.

Hmmm…. I decided to go on the internet and read about the intelligence level of cows.
Surfing around, I found some interesting facts about how smart cows might be.
Examples:

1) Cows can hold grudges against other animals or humans for months or even years.
2) Cows’ intelligence is on a par with dogs, and a bit higher than a cat.
3) Cows often form a small circle of friends within the herd.
4) Cows enjoy challenges, and will feel excitement when they use their intellect to overcome an obstacle.
5) Cows have advanced navigation abilities, and can often find their way back home after being sold at auction.
6) Cows remember their birthdays, and that of their family members, and always appreciate receiving birthday cards from humans.

OK, I made up that last one!

Anyhow, I’m rethinking my plans to grab a hamburger for lunch today.

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