DEAD MAN WATCHING
By Dan Miller
March 1, 2007
Did you hear the creepy story about the dead man watching TV?
Police were called to a man's house on Long Island, New York, and inside found the mummified remains of the resident, sitting in front of a blaring television set.
He'd been dead for more than a year!
Police say the 70-year old man had died of natural causes.
While reading about that one, I happened across a similar story from 1998 in Germany.
The main difference, in Germany the man's body had been on the sofa -- in front of the still running TV set -- for 5 years!
Five years.... dead.... just sitting there!
Nobody noticed.
That's crazy. If that happened to me, I'll bet -- within one or two weeks -- my wife would, for sure, notice I wasn't moving.
And here's something to ponder.
Since our TV audience ratings are measured by television sets "turned on", would either of those belated folks be listed as "viewers" if they had Nielsen boxes, and their sets were tuned to Channel 4?
For some reason, all this reminds me of 40+ years ago, when I was working at a small daytime radio station in my hometown.
On Sundays, there were just two of us who worked the entire broadcast day.
A nice man named Chuck Aune would work from sign-on (6 AM) until I came in at Noon.
As I was driving to work, I tuned my car radio to our little station (500 watts at 1600 on the dial), and I could tell the transmitter was "on" because the frequency was static-free and there was a slight transmitter hum.
But there was no programming.... none of the usual Sunday morning religious programs.... no music, no talking, no advertisements.... nothing.... just the essence of a signal.
I walked into the building and I could hear -- loud and clear on the speakers in the lobby -- the religious show that should have been beaming out.
There sat Chuck.
No, he wasn't dead or passed out.... just sitting there listening to the program.
I said, "Do you know there's nothing going out over the air?"
"Oh no"... he jumped up and yanked a wire from a patch panel.
Chuck had stuck the wire in the wrong slot, and blocked the programming from getting to the transmitter, which was sending out a blank signal.
"Hasn't anybody called and complained that nothing's on the air?" I asked.
"No, not a call, not a single call!"
He'd been sitting there for six hours, playing religious programs.... reading a few commercials and announcements.... doing weather reports, news updates and station IDs.
Yet, not one person (other than Chuck himself) had heard a word of it.
No one called to complain.
(Actually, I strongly suspect no one had even tried to listen.)
It's the kind of thing that keeps a broadcaster humble.
When I took over at Noon with my Top 40 music show, I ran periodic little contests all afternoon.... giving away movie passes.... just to reassure myself that someone was listening.
Oh no....!
Now I've got the creepy feeling that nobody's reading this.
Somebody -- quick! -- send me an email so I'll know there's somebody out there!
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