MY ADVICE ON NAMING KIDS

BY DAN MILLER
January 23, 2007

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow has a 2-year old daughter named Apple.

I had never before heard of a child being named Apple.... but I think it's a lovely and unique name for a little girl.

Giving children the names of fruits, vegetables, and especially flowers, is not uncommon.... but, as with any unusual name, I would advise careful thought before committing.

For example, while Apple is a delightful name.... a little girl named Watermelon might eventually hear some unwanted giggles.
As for flowers.... Rose and Iris are lovely names, but a child named Wormwood might catch a bit of kidding from playmates at school.

Sometimes words that simply sound lyrical and pleasant might be tempting as potential names.... at least until somebody checks a dictionary.
I recall a few years ago, reading about a couple that moved to the U.S. from somewhere in Asia.
Neither of them spoke a word of English, but -- with a new baby about to be born -- they really wanted to pick a beautiful English word for their child's name.

They went through the English dictionary and finally settled on a lovely sounding word that just seemed perfect for their new daughter.... Diarrhea.
You know -- if you have no idea what it means, it really is a beautiful word.
I can't help but wonder if that young woman has legally changed her name by now.

So, as a public service today I'm offering a few "lovely sounding words" that any parents-to-be might want to think twice about before using as given names:
Lunatic.... Donnybrook.... Gonorrhea.... Daiquiri.... Atheist.... Chlamydia.... Diphtheria.... Anesthetic.... Malaria.

Such beautiful, lyrical words, flawed only by their meanings.

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