OLD NEWS?
BY DAN MILLER
March 10, 2006
Is there really such a thing as "old news"?
Most days, when our news staff meets to discuss possible stories for that day, someone will eventually use the phrase, "that's old news".
And that always starts me thinking.... can something, in fact, be "old news"?..... isn't that a contradiction?
News is defined as "a report of recent events".... so, technically, old news is an oxymoron.
OK, life is full of oxymorons, or combinations of words that are contradictory or incongruous.... and they almost always make me smile.
I offer some classic examples of oxymorons:
pretty ugly
terribly pleased
plastic glasses
wickedly good
found missing
silent scream
military intelligence
small crowd
jumbo shrimp
clearly misunderstood
a definite maybe
affordable housing
white gold
Peace force
working vacation
we're alone
fairly accurate
airline food
among the first
bird dog
government efficiency
bitter sweet
civil war
crash landing
exact estimate
forgotten memories
wet drywall
free rent
rules of war
fresh frozen
good grief
green oranges
half naked
head butt
act naturally
home school
liberal conservative
huge shortage
ill health
instant classic
legally drunk
loud whisper
male lady bug
house boat
minor miracle
partially destroyed
negative gain
plastic wood
new antique
non-working mother
feeling numb
war games
obviously concealed
one choice
medium well
open secret
horse fly
original copy
partially complete
new used car
passive aggression
graduate student
plastic silverware
recorded live
political leadership
random order
real magic
to infinity and beyond
rock opera
running in place
safe bet
single pair
slow speed
thinking out loud
steel wool
suicide victim
terrific headache
turkey ham
whole piece
sweet and sour
wet drywall
toll freeway
unbiased opinion
straight angle
liquid gas
boneless ribs
elevated subway
long shorts
same difference
Now, I know some people might say this is a superficial essay -- but that's only true on the surface.... the part you can read.
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