WHO'S BURIED IN LENIN'S TOMB?
BY DAN MILLER
(originally posted October 20, 2005)
I've decided to share a personal humiliation I suffered while visiting Lenin's tomb in Moscow about 17 years ago.
First, a few thoughts about that tomb.
If most present-day Russians have their way, Lenin's tomb won't contain the remains of Vladimir Lenin much longer. They hope to take that ghastly thing out and bury it somewhere.
And it's not just because of the expense.
Time Magazine reports that Russia spends roughly $1,500,000 a year to keep it on display in that creepy mausoleum there in Red Square.
Time Magazine doesn't explain whether that cost is calculated in U.S. dollars, or Russian rubles.
If it's U.S. dollars, that would translate into roughly 45 million rubles a year.... way, way too much to spend preserving one surprisingly small, grotesque, waxy looking corpse, that's been lying there for 81 years.
No, the reason so many Russians want it removed is because they now understand that Lenin was a ruthless dictator whose tyrannical regime took their country far down the wrong road. They no longer have any reverence for the father of the Bolshevik Revolution.
And they probably think -- like I did -- that it's really bizarre to have Lenin's corpse on display, still sporting his neatly trimmed little beard and mustache.
I've heard the corpse even occasionally sprouts fungi. Just plain peculiar.
But, back to my humiliation.
It was 1988, three years before the demise of the Soviet Union.
I traveled to Moscow with some friends, on sort of an adventure-trip.
We waited in line at Lenin's tomb for quite a while, and when we finally got to the door, a uniformed military guard approached me with a stern look on his face.
Obviously, he suspected I was about to breach security.... perhaps by sneaking a camera or recording device -- or something much worse -- inside the tomb, which was strictly forbidden.
What raised his suspicion was the outline of a large object, that I had clearly attempted to conceal beneath the front of my sweater, just below my chest.
So right there in line.... in front of everyone.... he made me pull up my sweater and shirt, to reveal MY FAT STOMACH!
Such humiliation! Needless to say, I've never been back.
_________________________________________________