GONE WITH THE WIND CHILL
BY DAN MILLER
(originally posted May 9, 2005)
The arrival of warm weather means I no longer have to concern myself with the wind-chill factor.
It is, without question, the oddest nugget of weather information we're given..... easily as confusing as "virga" (rain that's falling, but never reaches the ground)..... or the infield-fly rule in baseball.
Back when I was a TV weatherman (before TV meteorologists) I never even heard the term "wind chill factor".
Here's the way I understand wind-chill: When it's, say, 32 degrees.... but the wind is blowing..... it might FEEL like it's perhaps 27, or even colder (depending on how hard the wind is blowing).
But I see a progressive spiraling down of logic.
What if it IS actually 27 degrees, and the wind ISN'T blowing..... wouldn't it then be just as meaningful to say it's really 27 degrees, but it FEELS LIKE 32 degrees on a windy day?
And -- get this -- wind-chill indicates how the air would feel on bare skin.
Why in the world would anybody be outdoors in their bare skin, in 32 degree weather, anyhow?
And shouldn't the sunshine, or lack of it, be a factor as well?
And in the summertime, if it's -- say -- 92 degrees, and the wind is blowing, why don't we report on the cooling effect of the wind, making it FEEL like only 88 degrees?
For some reason, this got me thinking about the length of movies, and how long it FEELS LIKE they last.
For example, the movie "Ray" was quite long -- 2 hours and 33 minutes -- yet, to me, it seemed to fly by, lasting perhaps an hour and 15 minutes.
The same with "Sideways" -- 2 hours and 7 minutes -- but I thought it last only about an hour.
On the other hand, "The Terminal", the overblown Tom Hanks movie, dragged on -- in my mind -- for more than 4 hours.... but in reality it was 2 hours and 9 minutes.
And did you see "Along Came Polly"? I honestly thought it would never end. But it ran only one hour and 31 minutes according to the clock.
So here's my proposal.
The motion picture industry should establish a system for telling moviegoers how long a movie "seems" to last.
They could call it the "PET" factor.... or Perceived Elapsed Time.
In the case of The Terminal, the ad would read: (Running time 2:09 -- PET 4:15)
For "Ray", it would read: (Running time, 2:33 -- PET 1:15)
For the classic "Gone With The Wind", the ad would read: (Running time 3:42 -- PET 2 days)
Or, for "Along Came Polly", it would be: (Running time 1:31 -- PET "NE", or never-ending)
Now, that would be worthwhile information..... letting you know exactly what to expect...... unless you're watching the movie at the drive-in, on a cool night, shirtless, on the hood of your car...... then you've got to factor in that whole wind-chill business.
________________________________________